The Audible Quote Collector

If I've learned anything at college, it's been to cherish my quiet time. I'm not really sure what goes on in the minds of the guys who live on my floor. I'm talking about the guys who literally just yell bloody murder in the middle of the night in the halls. Like, what? I don't get it. What am I missing? Is it some sort of ritual? Should I be concerned? Or, there will be thundering footsteps as people run across the halls. I'm pretty sure they carry bricks in their backpacks or something because I swear it sounds like a giant has entered the building. And worst, my roommate has an addiction to not using headphones despite my pleading. So I get to fall asleep to the peaceful lull of gunshots from his Xbox. So, yeah. Basically, I learned to cherish the silence. And I know there are people just like me who cherish silence. For example, when movies began to shift from silent films to movies with sound there was a guy who continued to create silent films. I can res...

I definitely had a pretty good childhood, all things considered. I read a lot of books, I played a lot of dodgeball in gym, and I avoided by vegetables by feeding them to the trashcan when my parents weren't looking. The reason I said "pretty good" is because I lacked a dog to feed these vegetables to instead! I cannot ignore my parents' obstinance in getting a dog. I mean, I even wrote my 1st-grade persuasive essay on why we need a dog, and I'm sure it was super convincing with perfect grammar and nuanced arguments. They had a pretty good counterargument in that I am very allergic to dogs, but still. Regardless, my childhood was pretty good. And what made it really good was television and one show in particular. My childhood is defined by words like "weast" and "wumbo." It is filled with elementary kids asking if mayonnaise is an instrument and people shouting "CHOCOLATE!!!!" remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other plan...

When I was in 6th grade, I tried to eat mango Rita's Water Ice even though I'm allergic to mango. They ran out of every flavor before I got my turn, so Mango was the only thing left. Well, I wasn't about to just shuffle solemnly back to my table and watch everyone else eat their Rita's. Nope. I took that mango flavor and was fully prepared to eat it. Of course, though, my friend just had  to be the hero and steal it away from me. I don't know how often people get annoyed when you try to save them from having an allergic reaction, but I definitely was very annoyed! And even worse, he'll still bring this moment up today. I am being 100% honest that just this Spring Break he brought it up for like the 100th time and he said, "since I saved your life, you are indebted to be my friend forever." I wouldn't have eaten it if I knew these consequences. I since have learned to not just eat foods I'm allergic to now. But the hardest time to resist eat...